52 Ways to Annoy Arthur Penhaligon
by Miss Pookamonga
Summary: I've annoyed Dame Primus, Suzy, and Monday's Dusk. Now it's time to torture the main character.Whoopdeedoo!


_Dear Readers,_

_Wow, four of these lists in one day already! I am DEFINITELY having way too much fun. This time, Arthur's going to get tortured. Poor guy. He really doesn't deserve it...but haha! What do I care?! Mwhahaha!_

_Best Regards from a Bookworm, _

_Miss Pookamonga ;-P_

**52 Ways to Annoy, Harass, and Otherwise Bother Arthur Penhaligon**

Link arms with him and walk around with him everywhere.

Constantly ask him if his dad knows Billy Ray Cyrus.

If his dad actually does know Billy Ray, ask him to get you Billy's and Miley's autographs.

Tell him there's something on his cheek. When he proceeds to wipe "it" off, tell him he's in the wrong spot.

Tell him his mom is going to have another baby.

When he freaks out, tell him she's actually going to have triplets.

Stick your foot out and trip him at random moments.

Tell him that Suzy has a crush on him.

Tell him that Leaf has a crush on him.

Lock him in a room with the two of them and watch them all fight.

Replace his suit with a nicer tweed one, and give him a pair of orange plaid pants.

Take a picture of him in this outfit and give it to Suzy and Leaf.

Put mistletoe over a doorway and make him and Suzy walk underneath it.

Take a picture of them kissing.

Send this picture to Lord Sunday.

Tell him he's been drafted into the Glorious Army of the Architect for another millennium.

Steal the Keys from him and hide them in random places. Then force him to hunt for them.

Tie him to a chair and force him to watch _Mrs. Doubtfire_.

Afterwards, call him on the phone and repeatedly say, "I am Joe."

Steal Monday's Key and randomly jab him with it, screaming, "Ha! I have killed you!"

Imitate Jim Carrey's rendition of Count Olaf at random times.

Pinch his cheeks and squeal about how adorable he is whenever you see him.

Call him Artie.

To make it worse, proceed to calling him Artie-Warty.

When he gets upset about this, tell him he looks cute, then run away.

Constantly tell him he is a rip-off of King Arthur, and always point out the similarities between the two of them.

If he somehow gets used to this, start comparing him to Luke Skywalker.

Sing and dance to "Hey Ya" while tapping him on the head with a ruler.

Tie his shoelaces together and take a photo of him tripping over.

Use this photo to blackmail him into not punishing you.

Ask if you can use the Keys. If he says no, threaten to tell his secrets to Lord Sunday.

Follow him around, and when he tells you to go away, stare at him with wide eyes and say nothing.

Constantly whisper to him that the Piper is coming to "take him away."

Whenever there is an awkward silence, start singing "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts".

Sing "It's A Small World" when he meets up with an unexpected person.

Whenever he and Suzy are in a room together, start singing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" in a very loud voice.

If they try to attack you, start screaming and twitching on the floor.

Force him to sing and dance the "Check the Gate" song over and over again until he can't do it anymore.

Get Skandar Keynes to sing the "Check the Gate" song in his ear.

Whenever you say his name, start singing the _Arthur_ theme song right after you do so.

Constantly ask him if he has a younger sister named D.W. and a dog named Pal.

Wake him up in the middle of the night by screaming that Suzy has gone missing.

Tie him up and write "I ♥ Artie" all over him with a Sharpie.

Take a picture of him this way and put it on the internet.

If he tells you to do something, pretend you don't hear him and start quoting _Napoleon Dynamite_.

Write him his own theme song. Whenever he walks into a room, start singing it while banging a pair of cymbals.

Occasionally speak only in pirate jargon.

At random times, slap him on the cheek and start crying. Then run away.

If he asks you what's wrong, look up and say, "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers." Then walk away.

Sneak up behind him and bop him on the head with a book at random times.

When he blames you, say that Japeth did it.

Tell him that Suzy and Leaf have betrayed him and have joined ranks with Superior Saturday.


End file.
